chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
