it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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