if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
