ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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