I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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