His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
