We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
