Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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