all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
