yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
honey bunches of taint.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
