bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he thought i was a dude.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
