I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
