I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
