maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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