Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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