Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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