how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My ass is underappreciated
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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