please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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