R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
