apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
