Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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