living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
