don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
