He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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