So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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