you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
