She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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