Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
