I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
please don't ironically join a cult
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