Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
