Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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