I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
