I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize