Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
