I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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