I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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