i don't like sucking hair
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
