This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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