the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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