the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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