some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Fuck appropriateness.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
