i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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