Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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