So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
