We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
