i just google imaged poop.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
