Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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