ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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