literally had 100 drinks last night.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
