dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
