I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
