Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
