her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
