HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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