I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize