what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
