how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I need to calm my uterus...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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