someone get that fucking seahorse.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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