ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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