Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
