I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
