U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize